Seasons of Change

Every year when the weather cools down and the mornings and evenings are crisp and cool I know fall is in the air.  I love love love this time of year, it truely is one of the best things about living in the northeastern part of the country.  The impending seasons bring to mind colorful leaves, apple pies, pumpkin cookies, Oktoberfest and back to school.

Apple pie made earlier this month

Now my friends generally know that I love back to school stuff, I even put school supplies on layaway one year.  Honestly, crayons, pens, pencils, paper and markers were toys in my house so what better time to stock up when ailses of the mega marts are full of the wonderfull products.  Seriously I drool.

Anyway, as I price shop my text book for my next Grad class I am whistful for college and being a freshman again.  I don't think that I was misty-eyed or homesick to much because I was just excited. Excited about my future and everything the world had in store for me.  I was a firm believer that the world was my oyster and I was going to relish in everything it had to offer.

Looking back now, I miss the selfishness of being on my own for the first time and basking in my first taste of adult hood.  I miss my dorm room with the tye-dye comforter and the bright red sheets.  I miss my colorful posters and lights strung around the room.  I miss my roommates and the goofy things we got up too.  I just miss that feeling of carefree and opportunity while dipping a toe into adulthood with training wheels attached.

My side of the Dorm Room

I admit I am so lucky.  I chose a major which I loved and it lead me to a career that I enjoy and am proud but before that started I had to leave home for school.  Granted school was about 20 minutes away but I was living on campus and away from home.

Mom was so amazing when I went off to college.  After we unloaded my things and I got set up, my mom and my cousin (Dad started a new job and couldn't get off work) had to head home and instead of going back to my dorm for a final goodbye.  My mom just gave me a hug around my box of books and said,  "We have head home so were are going to part here."  I remember saying, "You mean you aren't going to come up with me?"  She shook her head and gave me a big hug (Amy did too) a I watched them both walk to the cross walk, cross the street and go to the parking garage.

I felt as if I was moving in slow motion and the colors and sounds were just whipping around me as I focused on them leaving.  I am surprised now that I didn't cry, instead I shurgged and walked into the dorm building and made my way to my room.

I realize now that this was probably one of the hardest things my mom has done.  She let me go.  She let me grow and change into an adult that is self sufficient and independent.  I think that was a source of comfort for her in the end.

So as I snuggle under my blankets before starting my day or breathe in the crisp air, I remember the great things that happened in college but understand it allowed me to be who I am today.  I know Mom is proud and laughs each time I get another package of highlighters.