Happy

One of my favorite things are the wake up sounds during spring.  Before you open your eyes but are conscious  I love the sound of the trees rustling in the breeze, the birds chirping and even the sound of a spring rain. Your ears tell you that the sun is shinning and the sky is blue before you even open up your eyes.  How can you wake up and be grumpy to that?

I can't though it does make me want to curl under the covers and close my eyes and listen for the rest of the morning and make me late for work.  As I walk into work most days in May, I am just struck by the beauty of it all.  The green of the trees and the blue sky.  The bold primary colors that make up our world.  It just makes me smile.

Lilacs from the bush in the back yard of My Dad's house.

But today, I remembered that I didn't get to appreciate spring let alone May last year.  Instead I was working the night shift and would only get a glimpse of the world waking up from winter before I crashed and woke up in the afternoon.  Before I knew it, the weather had warmed up into the heated summer months.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I content and happy.  Today is Mother's Day and it isn't as hard as last year.  I still miss my mom everyday but I know that I am blessed with great people in my life that have been filling the holes losing my mother has created.

My Aunt.

Aunt Suzie

We have grown closer and I wouldn't have been able to get through everything that happened without her.  She and my mom had their differences but they loved each other fiercely   Last year when I worked the night shift I would call her on my way to work to check in and just talk to someone before I spent the night awake answering calls.  I think we have been strong for each other and that has meant so much to me, even when she volunteers me to make funnel cake batter at the church festival :)

Carol

Carol is a friend of the family from church and while she has a family of her own, she took us all under her wing.  She and mom were partners in crime when it came to the baskets at the church festival and other things mom wrangled them into.  I know that my mom's passing really affected her but I think taking us in as her own helped all of us.  I would call Carol when I just needed someone to cry too and didn't want to upset my dad.

Aunt Becky and Francy

Aunt Becky was my mom's best friend from childhood.  She is a nurse and a wonderful human being.  Francy is her older sister and together they have been such a huge part of my life.  They watched me when I was a cubby baby when my grandfather passed away.  They always get the most amazing things from birthdays and christmas (even though they are Jewish) and always took to on great adventures.  I have fond memories of antiqueing and going to yarn sales to find cool new things for their home.  Aunt Francy spanned my love of science fiction.  Seriously I was watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 when I was like 6.  They are a super special part of my life and I don't know what I would do without them.

Jenn, Samie, Sarah, Lucy and Becky

Really my friends are wonderful.  While not mothers, they were more than capable of filling the void of friendship that I lost with my mom.  I told my mom pretty much everything.  She was my sounding board when I needed advise or when I needed advise to give my friends.  In turn, my friends are the glue that keep me together sometimes.  Thinking about what they mean to me makes me tear up but that's just how it is.


All of you who read the blog, are friends with me on Ravelry and have come into my life in this past year and a half.

I wanted to take a minute to thank you as well.  You have no idea what your kind words and comments have meant.  I have taken your advise about how to remember my mom.  I started periodically journaling things that are going on in letters to my mom.  I have taken comfort in your thoughts and prayers for me.  I wish there was a better way to say this but thank you.  If I could sky write it or post it on a billboard I would but I wanted you to know how much it all means to me.

Honestly,  there are so many people who have been there for me who helped to fill those gaps and to you I say Thank you.

<3 Heather