Dancing like I'm 27?

Okay so no yarny post this week.  I had a stomach bug this week and am to tired to knit most nights so no real progress but I did want to post...so here I am.

I don't know about you but my radio is set between 3 main genres in the car:  1. NPR 2. NHL on XM Radio and 3. Kiss 96.1 FM

Basically you get the news, Hockey talk and top 40 music.  So when the new Taylor Swift song 22 has played, I jam because I remember what it was like to be 22.

I went out most weekend nights and was at Eat n' Park for the breakfast buffet.  The world was just starting to open up.  I was just finishing school and starting my career and had a huge world ahead of me.  Clearly I had fun and I don't regret anything that I did.

So goofy

Where did that top go I love it?

So flash forward, I sit here at 27 and realize that yeah while I distinctly remember what being 22 was like.  I am no long that young girl and relate more to this video.

Yes that's right,  I feel more like I am 32 than 22.  But damn-it, I am still smack dab in the middle of it.  While I like Downton Abbey and going to bed early, I can still go out and have fun.  I have always been a firm believer that you are only as old as you think you are and there are days when I feel ancient.

There's a Snake in my Boot!

And there are days where I feel childish. :)  I may not go out and dance but I am always willing to dance away my problems at home with friends in my PJs  (PS this is my favorite song ever!)

So tell me how do you feel?  Are you feeling 22?  Or something closer to 32?

<3 Heather

2012 Holiday Baking - Cranberry Squares

So here I am watching the CBS comedies and staring at a blank word document.

Yes, I am procrastinating.  I have a draft of my 20 page research paper due on next Monday and I haven't really started it.  I know it's a draft and the final isn't due until December but I want to get a  good start.

So instead of writing that I am writing up a recipe from the family vault.  Yes, procrastination is my friend :)

Like many families after generations, there are foods that just have to be at the holiday dinner.  For some it's pie, others a cookie recipe.  At Thanksgiving, we have to have cranberry squares.

These squares are tart and sweet with a hearty oatmeal crust.  I never know if it's a cookie or a side but its always there and everyone loves them.

Cranberry Squares

In fact, a few years ago, my mom accused me and my dad of sneaking a piece even though we hadn't.  I went up to ask if I could have a slice before I went back to my apartment and she turns to me and exclaims, "You and your dad already had a piece didn't you!  You're thick as thieves!"  Now I know that may sound accusatory but as soon as I started laughing she did too.

We went downstairs and told dad and really it was the family joke.  I think my dad swiped a chunk the last time she made them and so I was lumped into the blame.

The recipe card

The topping

The crust

Grandma Lily's Cranberry Squares:

2 Cups of Cranberries
1 Cup of Hot Water
1 Cup of Sugar
1/2 cup of chopped nuts

3/4 cup shortening
1 cup of brown sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 cup flour
1 1/2 cup rolled oats

Cook the cranberries, water, sugar and nuts until all of the sugar has dissolved.

Cream the shortening and brown sugar.  Add baking soda, flour and oats.  Pat into a 9x13 inch pan.  Pour cooled cranberry mixture over the crust.

Bake at 375º for 30 minutes.

Seasons of Change

Every year when the weather cools down and the mornings and evenings are crisp and cool I know fall is in the air.  I love love love this time of year, it truely is one of the best things about living in the northeastern part of the country.  The impending seasons bring to mind colorful leaves, apple pies, pumpkin cookies, Oktoberfest and back to school.

Apple pie made earlier this month

Now my friends generally know that I love back to school stuff, I even put school supplies on layaway one year.  Honestly, crayons, pens, pencils, paper and markers were toys in my house so what better time to stock up when ailses of the mega marts are full of the wonderfull products.  Seriously I drool.

Anyway, as I price shop my text book for my next Grad class I am whistful for college and being a freshman again.  I don't think that I was misty-eyed or homesick to much because I was just excited. Excited about my future and everything the world had in store for me.  I was a firm believer that the world was my oyster and I was going to relish in everything it had to offer.

Looking back now, I miss the selfishness of being on my own for the first time and basking in my first taste of adult hood.  I miss my dorm room with the tye-dye comforter and the bright red sheets.  I miss my colorful posters and lights strung around the room.  I miss my roommates and the goofy things we got up too.  I just miss that feeling of carefree and opportunity while dipping a toe into adulthood with training wheels attached.

My side of the Dorm Room

I admit I am so lucky.  I chose a major which I loved and it lead me to a career that I enjoy and am proud but before that started I had to leave home for school.  Granted school was about 20 minutes away but I was living on campus and away from home.

Mom was so amazing when I went off to college.  After we unloaded my things and I got set up, my mom and my cousin (Dad started a new job and couldn't get off work) had to head home and instead of going back to my dorm for a final goodbye.  My mom just gave me a hug around my box of books and said,  "We have head home so were are going to part here."  I remember saying, "You mean you aren't going to come up with me?"  She shook her head and gave me a big hug (Amy did too) a I watched them both walk to the cross walk, cross the street and go to the parking garage.

I felt as if I was moving in slow motion and the colors and sounds were just whipping around me as I focused on them leaving.  I am surprised now that I didn't cry, instead I shurgged and walked into the dorm building and made my way to my room.

I realize now that this was probably one of the hardest things my mom has done.  She let me go.  She let me grow and change into an adult that is self sufficient and independent.  I think that was a source of comfort for her in the end.

So as I snuggle under my blankets before starting my day or breathe in the crisp air, I remember the great things that happened in college but understand it allowed me to be who I am today.  I know Mom is proud and laughs each time I get another package of highlighters.

Little Things in Life

This time of year is always a bit hard.  Friday, August 3, marked 15 years since my grandmother died from Leukemia.  Saturday, August 4, marked 6 years since my Gull Bladder Surgery.  And on Saturday, August 11, it's been 9 months since I lost my mom.

I honestly am doing better.  I am a little thankful that I blogged a lot earlier in the year because I don't remember much of it.  I was going through the motions and apart of sparks of significant events, it's all a blur.

I still mourn a bit everyday for my mom but the loss isn't as severe.  I still pause when I want to call and tell my mom something.  I want to see her smiling face and know everything is going to be okay.  But there are silver linings, my dad and I are so much closer now. I also feel so much stronger than before and I am also easier on myself.  

What can I say, I am (was?) a perfectionist.  I honestly try not take myself too seriously but it happens.  I am full of passion about work and my career that suddenly everything becomes so serious.  

So what's a girl to do to relax?  I think its all about the little things that help to put us back into perspective.

Jenn (best friend from High School) and I got together and wandered around the mall and had dinner.  

December 2010, Mom was there too.

She has been working so hard lately that we really have to plan to get to see each other.  I wanted to go for a walk but it was too hot so wandering around the mall was a good second option plus retail therapy helps fight the blues right?

So we bought clothes and got lured into a tea shop where I found this little gizmo.

It's a Tea Steaper!

Seriously how cool (or should I say hot :p ) is that?  It steeps the leaves and then like magic you put it over the cup and it dispenses.  Really it is all about the little things sometimes.

Overall, this is a busy week but I am so happy Jenn and I got some time to hang out.  She always makes me laugh and she has been one of the rocks in my life that helps me to get through the hard times.  Thanks Jenn!

---

In other news, classes are fast approaching but so is fall and that is my favorite time.  I have some plans to blog a bit more.  While I am not apologizing for my lack of posts, there is just so much more I want to share so be prepared.

I should be able to cook more and show you all my creations.  Plus it's pie season and I love making pies!

I still have to get pictures off of my camera from my DC trip with my friend Stephanie.  

Yarny goodness of course will continue

<3 Heather

Side Tracked

As the early morning light hit my eyes this morning, I took a moment to realize that summer is finally here.  The time of year so many look forward too.  The warm weather and barbecues, no school and vacations.  

As I convinced myself that it was time to get up, I feel anxiety that the time is just slipping past me in a never ending carousel ride.  I feel like it was just yesterday that I waxed poetically about spring peaking out through the dirges of winter.  

Spring Tulips

The green of the foliage has since changed from the promise of yellow, through the life affirming green into the stressful brown.  The heat of summer is upon us finally.  Do I pay attention to the song birds or am I more concerned with the hum of the air conditioning kicking in?

I admit that my favorite seasons are spring and fall.  The sunshine is a welcome accompaniment and change from the grey skies of winter and the scorching heat of summer.  I long for the colors that are only visible in spring and fall.  But in this heat of summer, I am trying to find the silver lining through it all.  We long for this time in the dead of winter and yet it's easy think toward the cooler weather in our future.  

Instead I try to find relief and in turn realize that it's not so bad.  This week even I realized that if there is a breeze no matter how hot, the heat isn't so bad.  And with the breeze there is a longing for blue waters and sand between my toes.

Miami Beach - May 2007

How is it that when we are on vacation, we can endure the heat?  We long for it and bask in the scorching sun and run into the blue waters?  Maybe it's the change in scenery, maybe it's a chance to escape our lives back home for a short time, maybe it's just vacation and you shouldn't question it.

I don't think I will get to see the beach this summer but I am having cravings for the humid sea air and the call of gulls.  I loved sleeping to the sounds of the ocean and waking up early to watch the sunrise with my mom on the porch.

But perhaps that is my dilemma, I miss my mother everyday.  Some days, it's a fond memory.  Other days it's an overwhelming desire to talk to her and the subsequent frustration and tears that I can no longer hear the sound of her voice.  Or maybe it's days like today where I stop to reflect and wonder how I made it almost 8 months without her.  Where has the time really gone?

I remember after she died that the days and weeks seemed endless.  Now the days have once again sped up to light speed.  I truly have no clue where May went and now that my birthday has come and gone, what happened to June?  Before I know it, will fall be upon me?  Will I be excited about school supplies and going back to grad school?  

Everything changes.  If I didn't get it before, I definitely get it now.  I work hard everyday to not wish the time away.  To cherish the sunrise and sunset and make the most of each day.  Because if I don't the days will just pass by me and who would want that to happen.

Iguazu Falls, Brazil - May, 2007

<3 Heather

Rasberries and Peaches

So I made another pie this weekend.  I know it's a shocker but this weekend was a bit different.  There I was working on reducing down the raspberries and peaches for the pie (I was also caramelizing onions for the meatloaf, Yummy! But I digress) and my Dad walks into the kitchen and says, "You have been baking a lot lately"

Yes, yes I have.  I know I have mentioned many times that I learned my baking and cooking from my family (and a healthy sprinkling of the Food Network) but my Dad's comment got me thinking about why I was really baking. 

Anyway, I pondered it and got back to the baking and ending up with this great pie.

How yummy does that look?

But it wasn't until I read this post and saw this picture* of  Julia Child that I truly understood what I was doing.  I realized today that I was honoring those who taught me everything I know culinary wise. 

I smile each and every time I pick up the rolling pin with the burnt handle and know that for generations, women in my family have been rolling out pie dough for their loved ones. (My mother borrowed the rolling pin ages ago from her great grandmother and never gave it back.  To quote her, "I wasn't done borrowing it, yet")

I remember sitting on my Great Grandmother's counter and pinching the dough to seal the crust.  I remember cutting and slicing apples.  I remember coming home from school in the fall to the smell of cooked apple, cinnamon and love.  Memories really withstand the test of time through food, don't they?

When I started on this pie journey a few weeks ago, it was just to satisfy an urge for a cherry pie and prove that I could do it.  I can't tell you the last time I had made one even with my mom's help, and yet I remember all of the things they taught me.  How to cut the shortening into the dough, how to roll out the dough, how to pinch, how to make sure you add butter and leave slits in the top for air.  It all came rushing back like they were standing over me when I was small.

I cannot tell you how much I want to show my future children and grandchildren and friend's children because these lessons are a gift from one generation to the next.  I am so happy to have had that in my life.

<3 Heather

* For those of you not following the links.  The picture was of Julia demonstrating a frosting technique to a young Merida.

Reminicing of my Travels to Germany in 2004

The weather today has gotten cooler but last week we had 80° F days which reminded me of my Germany trip in 2004.  With spring in the air, everything is starting to get green and beautiful and its almost as close as the greens of the fields when I flew into Munich in May of 2004.

Taken from the Bus on the way to Neuschwanstein Castle

I had always wanted to study abroad but the demand of engineering posed a challenge so instead there were a few classes offered that allowed to 2 week abroad experiences.  I went to Germany after my Freshman Year and studied German industries.  I also went to Brazil after my Junior Year to study sustainability.  (More on that in another post)

Anyway, this was my first trip out of the Country.  I was so nervous because the political climate was still unsettled from 9/11 and we were instructed not to draw attention to ourselves while we traveled.  I had flown before but this was a longer flight and I just wanted to see the place where my family originated. (I am of German decent). 

I was no naive now that I look back but really what 18 year old isn't?  It was an interesting experience trying to communicate in a language that was foreign to me.  Luckily we were in a group but we still had some time to explore Augsburg (where we stayed) on own quite a bit.   I loved how timely the transportation systems were and wish ours were better.

We were there to learn and compare USA and German industries from a business and engineering point of view.  We visited Beer manufacturers, Audi manufactures, Computer and Semi-Conductor manufacturers as well as robotics manufacturers.   We got free samples of the Beer but not of the Audi's we got to see being built.  :) 

On a side note, I left home hating beer and came back a beer snob.  ;o)

In addition to the  the industry tours there were cultural to Neuschwanstain Castle and the Alps.  Really this was just a breath taking day.  The castle both inside and outside was gorgeous!  The Mountains take your breath away and there was even snow still at the top of the Mountain top we visited.

I took this picture and I still can't believe how amazing it turned out.

This was on the way to the Castle Overlook Bridge.  Aren't the Alps Stunning!

On the Gondola to the Top of one of the Mountains in the Alps.

I did break my toe earlier in the trip falling down a set of stairs but really nothing was keeping me from visiting this place.  I took my time and finally made it up the steep path but it was worth it!


I wish there were more breathtaking places like this in my hometown but therein is the challenge.  Finding the beautiful in everything we see and capturing it.  Being ready to grab the brilliant orange sunsets, catching the flowers and trees in bloom.  Seeing the everyday with new eyes.

I hope to take more pictures now that the weather is nicer and find old places that take my breath away and are new again.

Easy As Pie

Okay, things aren't always easy as pie but I did make an Apple Pie this weekend and it turned out amazing!

Apple Pie with Classic Crust

The women in my family can bake and as you know I have been baking since I could reach the counter on a chair.  I love baking because to me it's a connection with my family.  I love using the old rolling pin that has been passed down for generations and feeling the wonderful bake goods it has produced.  Family just means so much more to me now than ever before.

Anyway, I didn't realize it until my dad said something but Sunday was 4 months for my Mom's passing.  It still hurts but the pain is duller than before. Nothing is like before and I am now living a new version of normal but holiday's are hard and I am so not looking forward to Mother's Day.

It really is the little things that affect me the most.  I finished something that I was knitting (I will show you later in the week) and I just wanted to call my mom and tell her about it.  I see something funny and want to share it.  I am scared and concerned about something and want her reassurance that everything will be okay.

As Easter gets closer, I look at the house and think I need to decorate but worry that I won't find the time.  I don't know how she did it and wonder if she knew how much I appreciated her.  As I got older, the teenage angst and frustrations went away and the love was really apparent.  I miss her so much and everything still seems so surreal but a new normal is starting to be established.  I just need to keep taking one day at a time, which is easy as pie, right?

<3 Heather

Pie in the Sky

In a similar vein to yesterday, here is a picture from the front of my Apartment complex.  After 24 hours, notice the lack of snow.

Taken this morning outside of my apartment on my way to work.

Seriously, what is going on with this weather.

Weather rant aside, I am so excited to show you the cherry pie I made this past weekend. I only recall making apple pies so I wanted to challenge myself with a cherry pie.  I was a little nervous because with apple, you put the raw apples in and bake it but for the cherry I had to make the filling first. 

Cherry Pie Filling

I used this Cherry Pie Recipe from The Food Network.  I adapted the recipe by adding some lemon juice and zest to help make the cherries a little tart. I also used 2 bags of frozen cherries which was about 6 cups.  Note: I didn't use all of the liquid because it would have overflowed the pie pan.

I have to say, I was incredibly impressed by how easy this recipe was in comparison to apple pie.  I didn't have to peel and slice apples just threw the defrosted cherries in a sauce pan and cooked til the juice released and added the flavorings, sugar and corn starch.  Voila!  Cherry Pie Filling!

While this was cooling, I worked on the pie crust.  We have always used a shortening based crust, but what I didn't realize was that it was the Crisco Pie Crust until I couldn't find the recipe card and on a whim checked the back of the Crisco Stick Label.  Low and behold there was our "family" recipe.  Now I am not blaming my grandmother for pawning off a Crisco recipe as her own but it's funny how over time things develop into "family" recipes. 

Shortening Cut into Flour and Salt

Anyway, the best thing about following the Crisco recipe was a few clarifying steps.  I made sure the shortening was cold before I cut it into the flour and salt. You can use a food processor but I prefer to cut the shortening by hand.

I also made sure that I chilled the dough for 30 minutes before rolling it out. 

Rolled out dough.  I am incapable of rolling out circles.

Both of these tips really made a nice crust.  My mom didn't take these steps and her crust was always a but floury but mine came out nice and flaky.  I do wonder what it would taste like with butter flavored shortening. I will have to try that the next time.

Pie just out of the oven

Just a dusting of Flour will do

I admit I forgot to dot the pie with butter before I up it in the oven but I don't know if it needed it.  It was really tasty.  Also this was the first time that I made a lattice top crust.  It's not perfect but I am really proud of how it came out.

I did however remember to do some other tricks for making pies.  First, I made sure I added a bit of flour at the bottom of the crust before I poured in the filling.  This helps thicken the filling so it doesn't run over. 


I also made sure I used the pie drip pan.  This doughnut shaped pan catches anything that may run over but it also allows heat to move around the pie for even cooking.

The one in the front has been in the family forever, the one in back is a new non-stick version

My First Pie!

Well, I can't wait to make another cherry pie, or maybe a mixed berry pie in the future.  Pie has always been easy but then again, I have been making them for as long as I remember.

I tend to think of baking as my specialty but really its so much more than that.  To pull out the recipes (original or otherwise) that my family has made for years allows me to connect to the past.  I can feel my mom, grandmothers, great grandmother and other relatives guiding my hands as I create wonderful and delectable creations.  I can't wait to share these with my children and grandchildren.

Can I get you a slice of pie?