A Daughter

So I had been meaning to write this post for a few weeks now.  While I have been busy, really I have been avoiding thinking about this particular post.

Last year I talked about how happy and content I was during May.  I was happy for the nice weather and things were finally starting to settle down in my life.  While all of that is still true, this particular Mother's Day was hard.

The first mother's day after my mom passed away was just dreadful.  I was inundated with awful daytime TV that talked about Mother's Day ad nauseam.  It was an assault to my sense and I just wanted to bury my head in the sand and let the day pass without me.  Last year, I was okay with holiday.  Still a little sad but it came up so quickly that I just went with the flow.

This year was a mix of both and it made me angry.  I was just angry at all of the commercialism that was taking place.  As I reflected on my relationship with my mom, I think I did a pretty good job of letting her know that I loved her and that she was important to me.  Why did I need a specific day then to show her what I thought I was evident everyday?

So the emails, the commercials, the sales, the ads and the restaurants just rubbed salt in this hatred for the holiday.  I wasn't mad at mothers or the love that was being shown just that commercialism dictated it to  happen.

I know that kind of sounds like a cranky curmudgeon but I couldn't help how I felt.  I did however have some amazing women help me make the most of the weekend.

My Aunt

Selfie while getting my hair colored

I am so thankful to have her in my life.  She and I miss my mom so much but we are able to move on together.  She has helped me so much with everything but especially before and after the surgery.  She and I are even getting matching tattoos of an angel to honor my mom.  My mom loved angels and our Christmas tree is covered primarily in angel ornaments.  

I am getting it in Black and Grey on my Shoulder

Aunt Becky and Aunt Fran

That look that Aunt Becky is giving me is just perfect

First of all, they are some of my most devoted readers.  I get texts if I haven't posted in awhile.

Mathra!  Where's the Butter! -- Mystery Science Theater 3000

In general, some of my best adventures of my childhood involved these women.  Whether it was a sleep over and chasing Raider (their dog) around the living room.  Jumping on the little trampoline and then crashing on the couch to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000.  I have always loved spending time with them.  The best thing is that they loved my mom so much and I just want to soak up all of the memories and stories they have of her.

Of course there are many others but these women were so awesome this year.  Instead of letting me mope around the house during Mother's Day we went out and had dinner.  It made me feel a little less alone

After this weekend I finished The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and while there were many things that made me cry in this book the following quote just summed up how I was feeling regarding Mother's Day.

"you won't be a mother anymore." "As long as either of us is alive, I will be your mother," she said. "Even when you die, I will still be your mom, Hazel. I won't stop being your mom."

While I am not a mother the thought that I was no longer a daughter rolled around in my mind that weekend.  I really needed to hear read that even though my mom is gone I am still her daughter and she is still my mom.  I hope that I make her proud.

<3 Heather

WIP Wednesday - Err Thursday? #2

Hello again, don't you just love the start of June?  I do.  I may not be a fan of the heat and humidity but early June is one of the best times of the year.  School is getting out, summer plans are being made and the season just brings a lovely energy to the community.

The temperature in early June is warm but not oppressive.  The nights are cool or as my mom would say "Good sleeping weather."  Plus the flowers are starting to bloom and perfume the air.

My favorite smell is honeysuckle that grows wild along some roads.  Particularly on the way home from my dad's house.  There is a stretch where the hillside is just full of the flowers and the air just smells sweet and clean.

It's those smells this morning on my way to work that reminded me that I should enjoy the weather before it gets too hot or too busy during the summer.

Speaking of busy, yesterday came and went and I forgot to take pictures so this post is a bit later than I would like but I wanted to update everyone on my progress.

Candy Skein Leftie

Lucky Shawl?

So it is with a frustrated heart that I update you all on the Penguins.  You may have noticed my series of playoff recap posts.  The Pens have made it deep into the playoffs and this round decides who goes on to the play for the Stanley Cup.  It is with a sad heart that I report to you that my beloved Pens are down 3 games in the best of 7 series.  The game tomorrow faces elimination and a sweep.  I am so distraught.

During the first game, I did my pregame rituals.  I got my knitting out, the shirt on the game on the ipad and started to watch.  It was an epic fail.  The next game not much better.  Last night, double overtime and a loss.  I don't know what else I can do but I keep working on the shawl to hope the good vibes help the team make an epic comeback.

Justice League Filler Squares

Just a square but it's going in an epic blanket

Before the round started, I wanted to work on something but didn't want to finish the Leftie too quickly so I started another filler square for my Justice League Blanket.  These blocks are fairly easy and mindless stockinette that can be taken anywhere.  The image above shows the 40 rows I have so far and I should get the rest done tonight at knit night.

Juego Sin Fin en el Verano (Endless Juego in Summer)

I ended up ripping this project out.  I just couldn't justify the time to make the shawl when I wasn't excited about doing the shawl or even wearing the shawl.  I learned a lot about using beads, reading charts and there are some aspects that were worth the time I took on the piece.  Instead I am going to use the yarn to make Lunar Tide.  It has a similar cable cast off that I can add beads too like the Juego and still have something that excites me and that I would wear.

Hue Shift Afghan

The latest addition to the afghan

Glamour Shot :)

I didn't work on this blanket but I did finally get some new pictures to show you.  Enjoy :)

Anyway, that was my week.  Hope yours is going well.

#letsgopens

For other WIPs check out Tami's Amis and Frontier Dreams

<3 Heather

Happy

One of my favorite things are the wake up sounds during spring.  Before you open your eyes but are conscious  I love the sound of the trees rustling in the breeze, the birds chirping and even the sound of a spring rain. Your ears tell you that the sun is shinning and the sky is blue before you even open up your eyes.  How can you wake up and be grumpy to that?

I can't though it does make me want to curl under the covers and close my eyes and listen for the rest of the morning and make me late for work.  As I walk into work most days in May, I am just struck by the beauty of it all.  The green of the trees and the blue sky.  The bold primary colors that make up our world.  It just makes me smile.

Lilacs from the bush in the back yard of My Dad's house.

But today, I remembered that I didn't get to appreciate spring let alone May last year.  Instead I was working the night shift and would only get a glimpse of the world waking up from winter before I crashed and woke up in the afternoon.  Before I knew it, the weather had warmed up into the heated summer months.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I content and happy.  Today is Mother's Day and it isn't as hard as last year.  I still miss my mom everyday but I know that I am blessed with great people in my life that have been filling the holes losing my mother has created.

My Aunt.

Aunt Suzie

We have grown closer and I wouldn't have been able to get through everything that happened without her.  She and my mom had their differences but they loved each other fiercely   Last year when I worked the night shift I would call her on my way to work to check in and just talk to someone before I spent the night awake answering calls.  I think we have been strong for each other and that has meant so much to me, even when she volunteers me to make funnel cake batter at the church festival :)

Carol

Carol is a friend of the family from church and while she has a family of her own, she took us all under her wing.  She and mom were partners in crime when it came to the baskets at the church festival and other things mom wrangled them into.  I know that my mom's passing really affected her but I think taking us in as her own helped all of us.  I would call Carol when I just needed someone to cry too and didn't want to upset my dad.

Aunt Becky and Francy

Aunt Becky was my mom's best friend from childhood.  She is a nurse and a wonderful human being.  Francy is her older sister and together they have been such a huge part of my life.  They watched me when I was a cubby baby when my grandfather passed away.  They always get the most amazing things from birthdays and christmas (even though they are Jewish) and always took to on great adventures.  I have fond memories of antiqueing and going to yarn sales to find cool new things for their home.  Aunt Francy spanned my love of science fiction.  Seriously I was watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 when I was like 6.  They are a super special part of my life and I don't know what I would do without them.

Jenn, Samie, Sarah, Lucy and Becky

Really my friends are wonderful.  While not mothers, they were more than capable of filling the void of friendship that I lost with my mom.  I told my mom pretty much everything.  She was my sounding board when I needed advise or when I needed advise to give my friends.  In turn, my friends are the glue that keep me together sometimes.  Thinking about what they mean to me makes me tear up but that's just how it is.


All of you who read the blog, are friends with me on Ravelry and have come into my life in this past year and a half.

I wanted to take a minute to thank you as well.  You have no idea what your kind words and comments have meant.  I have taken your advise about how to remember my mom.  I started periodically journaling things that are going on in letters to my mom.  I have taken comfort in your thoughts and prayers for me.  I wish there was a better way to say this but thank you.  If I could sky write it or post it on a billboard I would but I wanted you to know how much it all means to me.

Honestly,  there are so many people who have been there for me who helped to fill those gaps and to you I say Thank you.

<3 Heather

WIP Wednesday - Shawl Overload

Hello again!  Life is settling back to normal and I can eek out a few moments to clear my thoughts and post.

My spring cleaning has been going well and I got some cleaning accomplished this week.  I cleaned out my fridge and pitched any thing that was expired and bought new.  I still have to mop and do a thorough wipe down of the cabinets and stove.  I took off for Good Friday this week so hopefully I can get that done.

I still have to work on the other rooms but a little bit at a time does wonders!  Oh and speaking of wonders, I found a great new app for cleaning called Brightnest.  Basically they have suggested tasks and you can schedule them.  Then you get an email or alert to remind you to do them.  I admit that this definitely helped to get the fridge cleaned out and my sink shiny.

Speaking of Spring, where is it?  I want daffodils, tulips, crocuses and hyacinths.  Seriously fragrent bulb flowers are my favorite part of spring.  So where are you spring?

We got snow last night?  It will melt by this afternoon.

I got a new toy this week!  I bought a light box, lights and a small tripod.  This means I can stage gorgeous shots of my yarn!  I know I promised images last week but I think the wait may be worth it. ;-)

So let's talk about what I have been working on that's fun.

Candy Skein Leftie

Instagram picture but don't the colors just pop?

Well when I last posted I had only a picture through the green and completed through the blue.  I got so much more done this week.  I think the red is my favorite so far but all of the colors are just gorgeous.  Especially with the Instagram filters.

I had a great low-key weekend and spent most of it lounging in bed watching NCIS and knitting Leftie.  It was really nice to just hang out instead of run around like I have been.

Overall, this project is coming along because it's easy to get 6 garter ridges and then start on a new color. Even though this is probably going to be as big as the Trillian, it feels easier because it's broken into little parts.

Tropical Ginger Hitchhiker

Tropical Ginger!

The other project on the needles is the Tropical Ginger Hitchhiker.  This is another case of small accomplishment because it's an 8 row repeat to make each tooth.  The color change ads an extra bit of dynamic that makes it easy to just sit and knit.

Well that's it for this week.    For other WIPs check out Tami's Amis and Frontier Dreams

<3 Heather

2012 - April Recap

Seriously where is the time going?!?  I am so amazed at the posts I did in April and I really hope you liked them too!  I am sad that the Pens out of the playoffs but there is still a lot of great hockey being played.  I have really progressed with getting those Lego Blocks done and bought a bunch of yarn.  Oops! :o)

Anyway, in May I plan to get that Lego blanket done and finish some of the other WIPs I have going on before starting a bunch of new ones again.  Let's see how that goes.

<3 Heather

Week in a Day 2

Alas, no finished object this week but it has been an interesting week.  Work has been really busy and after work has been even busier!

I started a Photography class on Tuesdays.  I have always loved taking pictures and with blogging have really made an effort to take more pictures to share.  The amazing thing is that with a lot of luck I have taken some really visually astounding and interesting pictures.  But I want to take them all of the time, so I decided to take the class to learn about photography and learn my new camera.

Taken in April 2010, at a Tulip Festival outside of Seattle

Our first assignment is to take pictures of our house using the different camera settings.  I don't like the lighting in my apartment, so I will take the pictures at my Dad's house.  The other part of the assignment is to find pictures that just take our breath away in magazines and bring them in.  I think this is the hard part because I don't have many magazines around my apartment.

Tulip in the Yard, April 2012

In my Grad class on Wednesday, I found out that my presentation is due on 4/18/2012 and not 4/25/2012 like I thought.  (Cue the sad trombone music)  At least I didn't freak out, I will get it done this weekend and then work on my paper that is due on 4/25/2012.

On Wednesday, the Pens lost to the Flyers 3-4 in overtime.  I don't think the loss would sting as bad but they Pens were up 3-0 in the first period and just didn't show up for the remaining 2 and overtime.  There is another game tonight, so hopefully they bounced back.  I do want to mention that I think our goal tender, #29 Marc-Andre Fluery played a really good game and that score could have been a lot worse if he wasn't on top of his game.

It's a Hockey Night in Pittsburgh! And I did make and decorate this cake.

There is another game tonight, which means it's a great day for hockey!

Thursday,  I got my Knit Picks order!  I ordered a Yarn Swift and Ball Winder, plus a scarf pattern called Richmond Lace Infinity Scarf and Knit Picks Chroma Fingering in Azalea .  I was so excited that I tested out the swift and winder last night and it is really addicting.

I also made a large purchase from Deramores.  I bought 8 balls of Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Aran for a blanket I want to make.  I chose some muted blues, pinks and purples for white centered granny squares. I am basing my blanket off of the one made by Jacquie at Bunny Mummy.

Here is one of the colors for the blanket that I already bought

I also got 23 skeins of Stylecraft Special DK for some unknown project.  I admit to lusting after the yarn in all of Lucy at Attic24 so I figured why not get some and I can figure out the details later.  I am thinking of a ripple but it might just end up with more white centered squares like above.

Lastly, today I got the rest of the Lion Brand Cotton Ease from Joann Fabrics online store for the Lego Blanket.  They had a sale and free shipping so that is one less thing on my to do list.  I started the green blocks last night and they turned out great.  The colors are really looking good together and I should have taken a picture but I didn't.  Sorry. But, you will see them on Wednesday!

Well, that is all for now.  I plan on working on my paper this weekend but I also plan to get some reading done for pleasure.  I have neglected my TBR pile and it's ready to topple over on top of me.  I will let you know what I think of those books.

For actual finished objects, check out Tami's Amis

<3 Heather

Spring has Sprung

There is a green that only occurs once a year,  When the trees and flowers wake up from their long winter naps and come to life.   The green that nature presents starts out almost yellow and gradually turns into a lush and prefect green as it soaks up the rain and sunshine that spring provides.

Aside from suffering from allergies, I love spring.  I love the renewal of the season and anticipatory feelings that anything is possible.  Dreams and wishes seem real and all you have to do is fulfill them.

This past weekend, I got a chance to take some pictures of the flowers around my dad's house.  I still need to do some massive weeding but the bulbs and lilacs are coming into bloom.

I love the smell of Lilacs

 I am afraid the weather got to our lilacs this year.  We have had quite a bit of warm weather earlier than usual and then a few hard frosts in between.  Our lilac bushes are usually bursting with color and smell but not this year.

I had to hang off the side of the deck to get this shot.

Another thing about spring is all of the bulb flowers that just pop out of the winter ground like little zombies and then bloom into lovely daffodils, tulips, hyacinth, and crocuses.  I may have said in the past that at some point in my life, I want to go to Holland for their tulip festival.  Riots of color and patterns that bloom in the spring.

The sun created really pretty shadows while I was taking pictures.

 
My mom loved Tulips and there are various blubs planted around the house that are so cheerful and colorful.  I think I may have to get some more bulbs this fall and pollute the front garden so next spring is just a riot of color.

I loved the inside of this tulip

Really isn't that the magic of spring, these beautiful flowers are popping out of no where but the days are warm but there is a crispness and coolness that reminds you that winter was just in the air.

What are you doing?

But then again, to Zoey it just means more birds to chase and more sun spots to snooze in.

What do you love about Spring?

<3 Heather